Describe Your Loved One
When leading a grief support group, or when visiting with someone who has experienced the death of a loved one...there is a question I often ask. "How would you describe your loved one to someone who never met them? What words would you use to describe their character and personality?"
BEING DIFFERENT ISN'T WRONG
Have you ever noticed all the different makes and models of cars on the road? Have you ever noticed all the different home designs and colors? Do you know why there are so many different sizes and colors of everything? Because we are different!
Here is a truth to live by...but it is very difficult for some people to understand.
"BEING DIFFERENT DOES NOT MEAN IT IS WRONG!!"
How does this apply to grief and loss?
Go to person
For some unknown reason, a classmate told everyone he was going to beat me up after school! I was only 10 years old, and definitely not a fighter. So, after school I quickly ran home with him in hot pursuit. I recall passing my 2 older sisters and yelling for them to stop him. They did not. When I stopped on my front porch, he proceeded to punch me in the face. I do not remember anything after that. But, my main lesson was that sisters may not always be there when you need them! ( I love all 3 of them anyway)😊😉💖.
Life experiences have taught me that we always need to have a "go too person"...
Several years ago I was reunited with a cousin I had not seen since we were boys. We shared many memories and reflected upon our family heritage. It has been a true blessing to draw near to him again. The best part is that we share an active Christian lifestyle.
During our visit, he made a statement that caught me off guard. He said "I can remember coming to visit you when we were kids. The word I would use to describe your home setting is that there was PEACE". I had never thought of it that way.
Always a part of us
Sharing a great post from Bob Willis - especially on this Father's Day, as many have lost their fathers and some have lost a child that made them a father.
"What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." -Helen Keller
Celebrate memories of loved ones. Their love will always be part of who you are, celebrate that part. Look for ways to honor them, create ways to use and share their name.
We will never lose them.
TRUTH + TIME + TRUST
Algebra and geometry were never my favorite subjects in school, the formulas never made sense to me. Fortunately, my life career choices did not require the use of formulas.
For over 25 years I have worked in the areas of grief, loss, and caregiving. It often surprises people to discover there is grief other than death. We grieve the loss of anything valuable to us. We grieve changes in life.
The loss of trust is a very significant grief issue.
Who am I now?
Throughout our childhood and teenage years we are trying to discover "who we are". Developing our own identity is something that will continue throughout our adult life.
Getting married and starting a family helps take a very big leap as we become identified in a certain family role. We may become known as a father, mother, brother, sister, or spouse. These are labels we receive and we work many years to develop. These roles help us discover "who we are"....
If tragedy strikes and a death occurs in the family, our roles can become confusing reminders of what we lost. We may struggle to put words to our loss as grief becomes very real and personal. We change.
Choose YOUR team
I recall it being an every Saturday morning ritual. Boys from across our small town would gather at the ballfield. The 2 "better" players were selected to be captains, then they took turns choosing their team from the eager boys around them. One player at a time...until every boy was on a team. Great memories from those days.
Have you chosen YOUR team? If you have suffered the loss of a loved one, it is very important to select those people who can form a... helpful team for you.
People come into our lives for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. We have looked at REASON and SEASON people...today we consider the LIFETIME people.
People come into our lives for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. The last post, we looked at REASON people. Today let's consider the SEASON people.