Guilt & Regret
It can be a very difficult word for grievers to hear. Probably because they feel it is impossible to attain. The word "closure" is often used to describe the importance of having a funeral service. It can refer to the family seeing the body of their loved one. Some think touching the body is necessary for "closure". Webster's dictionary defines "closure" as a "finishing" or a "conclusion". That is where I have a problem with the use of the word. Friends can walk away from a funeral and resume their normal lives...grievers cannot do that. There is no "closure ", it is not "finished", there is not a "conclusion" for them.
My approach to grief is to change the word "closure" to the word "closer". I believe it is necessary to draw "closer" to the emotions of grief, recognize the normal responses, and take intentional steps to soften the pain of loss. We must get "closer" to our grief to do this. It is impossible to find peace with our grief by running from it, trying to be distracted by activities, or seeking ways to escape the pain.
Let me encourage you to draw "closer" to the grief. Let's discover ways to soften the pain of loss.
Beginning tomorrow I will share information that is taught in my grief support groups. Many of you will recognize the process, I have shared it here before. Please contact friends or family who are struggling with grief. Share the material or ask them to send me a friend request so they can have this material each morning. No cost, no obligation, no books to purchase, just helpful material.
Bob Willis, author
"A Guide for Grievers"
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