"Academy Award grievers"
In 1980 I worked for an architect in Harlan, KY. One day I was alone in the office when a man walked in for copies of plans. As I worked on his project, I observed him closely. His clothes were very dirty, both shoes had holes in them, his hair was a mess, and he needed a shave. I watched him drive away in an old car that smoked it's way down the road. I even kept the office door open for awhile to clear his distinct "body odor".
Later I told the architect... of the unusual visitor. He laughed and said, "Bob, that is the richest man in Harlan county. He owns 4 coal mines".
I learned a valuable lesson that day. We should never judge another person from their outward appearance. True, you cannot judge a book just by looking at the cover!
I try to keep this in mind with my grief work. The person who seems to "have it all together" following a loss may actually be falling apart on the inside. These folks have been described as "Academy Award grievers".
The opposite can also be true. The person who seems to cry a lot and is constantly emotional because of a loss can be very healthy in their grief journey.
After a loss we only have 2 choices to deal with it. We hold it in or we let it out. It is much healthier to find a safe venue that allows our grief to be expressed. We just need to be true and honest with our emotions. There is never a time to judge the grief journey of others. Lesson learned. 🙏🙏
Bob Willis, author
"A Guide for Grievers"
"JESUS: The CRUCIFIED CAREGIVER"