"A Mourning Moment" By Bob Willis

What Not to Say

I know some folks who are glad Mother's Day is over. It is a very difficult day for bereaved mothers. Now, perhaps it can get back to "normal grief" instead of constant reminders.

Unfortunately,  some well meaning people can say some very hurtful things following a loss. I want to list some of the more common statements. Please feel free to post anything that has hurt you in this difficult journey. 

"I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL":  actually,  it is impossible for anyone to know JUST how you feel. No one else had the same emotional relationship with the person who died.

"YOU SHOULD BE OVER THIS BY NOW": Grief is not like a cold we just "get over". As long as we have a brain to think and a heart to feel...we will be a griever.

"IT WAS GOD'S WILL": God is never surprised at anything that happens. But to determine God's will for another person seems to be a weak attempt to justify the end of a life.

"IT JUST TAKES TIME": Grief does not go by a calendar, the intense pain is different for each person. It takes a lifetime!.
What have you heard that has been painful? 
​
Bob Willis, author 
"A Guide for Grievers"