"A MOURNING MOMENT" BY BOB WILLIS
Who am I now?
Throughout our childhood and teenage years we are trying to discover "who we are". Developing our own identity is something that will continue throughout our adult life.
Getting married and starting a family helps take a very big leap as we become identified in a certain family role. We may become known as a father, mother, brother, sister, or spouse. These are labels we receive and we work many years to develop. These roles help us discover "who we are"....
If tragedy strikes and a death occurs in the family, our roles can become confusing reminders of what we lost. We may struggle to put words to our loss as grief becomes very real and personal. We change.
Society may label us as a "bereaved parent" if a child dies. We still feel like a parent, but we have been robbed of the experience. We change.
The death of a sibling is also very hard. A sibling relationship is expected to be the longest in our lifetime. If it is cut short by death there can be a very deep sense of loss not recognized by everyone. We change.
If a spouse dies, the loss involves a change in the role we once had. We change from knowing "who we are"...to a place of not knowing "who we are anymore". Society sees us differently and will use labels such as widow or widower. We change.
These life changes will challenge us to identify "who we are now". The new and different role will need to be recognized and developed. It will be a path and journey that can be very painful....but it is necessary to gradually move forward in grief.
It is a moment by moment process of asking "who am I now?". We change.
Bob Willis, author
"A Guide for Grievers"
"JESUS: The CRUCIFIED CAREGIVER"
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