He said "True love is wanting your spouse to die first!"
That statement was made in a grief support group I led many years ago. Yes, as you might imagine, it got the full attention of everyone in the room. Then the older gentleman explained his shocking statement.
"We were married over 60 years, and this grief is almost more than I can stand. The loneliness keeps me awake all night, everywhere I look in the house there are memories, tears are constant, and I have no desire to do anything anymore. We always did everything together. Now there is a big piece of my heart missing", he said.
He continued, "I loved her so much I wanted her to die first. Because I cannot even imagine her living with the grief I feel every moment. If I had died first, she would be the one with this incredible pain. True love is wanting your spouse to die first."
It made sense. He loved his wife so much that he would rather endure the pain of grief instead of her going through the grief without him. He had dedicated his life to faithfully protect his wife from anything that would hurt her physically, emotionally, or spiritually. He kept his commitment of "until death do we part". He was willing to endure the pain of grief to protect her one last time.
Bob Willis, author
"A Guide for Grievers"